I got the gift of comparability and self doubt
They are basically an essential part of our every day life, from the minute we wake up in the morning we start this instinctual action. If you’re anything like me you compare even the smallest of things, you compare what shirt to wear with those pants or what item will most suit your needs as stressed out 20 something “adult”.
See the thing is, when you look at little comparisons like clothing or shopping, It’s not bad it’s 100% okay to make comparable choices as these choices define WHO we are, so why can’t we use comparisons to help us as individuals?
The thing that I have been struggling with lately is measuring my self worth by comparing my achievements with others. I have spent hours reading quotes about how you’re not suppose to have your life together at 21 and how you shouldn’t measure your success based on others… but I do, please believe I do.
Wonderful is the word I would use to best mirror “comparisons”, these two words go hand in hand in my terms. See I have a problem and that problem is comparing my self to those around me. I constantly compare, compare and compare my achievements regardless of what they are. I compare things like academic results, Job status, financial status, friend status. I guess if I was to apply an over arching label to collate the above, it would be:
“Cals comparability of success and self achievement “
I admit it, I do it everyday I constantly compare myself to everyone and you might be thinking, Isn’t this an absolutely toxic head space to be in? I know so many people my age who have graduated from their degree and are doing amazing things within their field of studies and I always say to myself “one day that will be me”, but deep down I am left with a comparison of if I am ever going to get there? Instead of wondering on the IF, I use a little secret that I will share with you that will show you how to reach your goal.
my little secret is self doubt…
I don’t want this blog post to come across as negative it’s suppose to be an insight into one of the many human emotions and actions that I am sure I share with a majority of readers. People often say that if you have self doubt in yourself you’ll never achieve things, well I am sorry to who ever said that because I am going to tell you the opposite.
For some it might be basic common knowledge but if you get a little lost sometimes and feel like a giant tangled mess, please read on…
Use what you do daily as your super power, use that comparison that you’ve just made about someone else’s success and work out how you’re going to get there. Use that self doubt that you have to focus and refine on what you need to do to over come it. Honestly use your self doubt to analyse your key strengths it will give you a clear perspective.
Compare yourself to someone who you’d like to be, then measure this against your self doubt, things like your weaknesses or problem areas.
An example of this for myself is:
I want to be a TV presenter one day, but when I was younger I struggled with speech problems and the ability to correctly pronounce my words. I thought I had over come my problem until a recent script read through in Journalism class confirmed that I need to work on my articulation of words.
I am going to achieve this by practicing pronouncing words and watching tutorial videos online. I am comparing myself to Oprah and saying ” I could do that job one day” my self doubt is speech problems, so I am going to work on that and really get to the core of what speech problems are and how I can fix them.
I am not going to say it’s easy but when you start applying the almost above type formula you will find alternative ways to achieve your goals, because not everyones path is the same and you’ll discover just how unique everybody is.
The truth is that comparing your self to others regarding jobs and success is sometimes negative but it doesn’t have to be, if you use comparisons in conjunction with self doubt as your “superpower” you’ll actually be impressed with how achievable anything actually is.
“let your comparisons find a goal that you want and use your self doubt to break it into map form to help reach your goal.” – Cal